hate cannot drive us apart
by kirayagami6669
Summary: dan and phil in teen years. phan. strong language. will the world challenge their love? chapters will be added either weekly or once every fortnight
1. Chapter 1

I apologize on how bad this is it's my first. well thats it.

 **Dan's POV**

Tick, tick, tick, tick. Glancing at my watch I notice I have less than a minute until I'm late. I bounce up the stairs coughing and wheezing but no time to think about that. Got to get there. Got to reach the door.

Ten. I reach the top and continue my journey and through the necessary door. Sitting down in my seat the bell goes. Phew I made it. I stare out the window and a familiar voice huffs an appreciation of me not being late. The same voice starting to drone on about pointless subjects.

I start to dose off messing with the bracelet on my wrist and thinking about my 16th birthday. I hate birthdays, too much celebration to signify you existence being added to the horrible world. We live in a society where I don't have to deal with starvation or unclean water, yet the society that judges others for not being kind, and hypercritically for being kind. It's all a waste to me; everything is controlled as it always has been. The only good thing that has come out of this life is the waiting. The excitement of waiting for it to be my sixteenth. For the tattoo to appear. To see the name. God I can't wait. Just a few more days. Then I can finish my last exam and get out of here. I hate this school. I'm glad my parents let me chose where to go for college. Or I would have been stuck in hell. Again.

The bell goes signifying the next lesson and the time seems to blur. Days pass by and more waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. All this waiting is killing me. I wonder, if their birthday is before mine then why haven't they found me yet? Maybe they're younger. Well I guess I'll have to do more waiting.

Three. Two. One. "Happy birthday Dan!" My family chanting at me the usual same tune. "Make a wish." I think to myself different things that are all negative 'kill me' but this is supposed to be happy day. Think happy. "I know" I say as I blow out the candle on my birthday cupcake. In our world your name doesn't appear until the literal minute of the day you were born, which in my case is late tonight. 11:47 to be exact. That is when I will see them. Oh I do hope it's a pretty name to go with a pretty face.

Time passes and I'm sat in bed scrolling Tumblr on my laptop. I glance at the time and I start to feel sick and nervous. 11:45. Shit. Two minutes. Stay calm, stay calm. I place my laptop next to me and put a timer on for the last minute to have something to watch. 5, 4, 3, 2. "One." Say out loud. I start to feel a pain on my wrist. It stings and I sit there staring as the name writes itself out on my skin. The words that will be there until my death.

 ** _Phillip Michael Lester._**

I sit there unsure on what to do. I get my senses back and search his name on any social media site I can, at once. I look everywhere but I can't find anything. I decide to go get a snack without waking my parents to hide my sadness.

I tiptoe downstairs and make it to the kitchen, I pick up a snack and turn around ready to go back up. Shit. Mom's there. "Err hi mom." I speak as I slowly move my left arm behind me. "What ya doing..." I say as I try to creep past her. No luck. She blocks the door. She turns to look me in my eyes and asks "Did you get your name?" I nod my head and try to get past again. Nope, she won't let me past. "So what is it? Have you looked her up?" Her, of course she thinks it's a girl. I reply simply with "No I haven't look the name up yet, I wanted to watch a movie and go to sleep. I have my whole life. You're not going to pressure me to do it now are you? I have exams." I say all this to cock block the fact that it's a guy. "No, no sweetie I was just excited. I'm glad you chose to focus on your exams. Okay, go have fun." She replies as she slides and lets me past while ruffling my hair as I pass.

When I get to my room I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

I am _never_ going to tell them. I wouldn't have a family. Mom would probably accept me but dad? The complete homophobic fuck? No. he will never find out. I could never-

I'm interrupted by the sound of my computer pinging. The last thing I have open is Tumblr so that must be a notification. Ill check it later. Right now I just want to forget all about this. I grace my fingers over the name and whisper "I'm sorry Phil." I walk over to my laptop and see someone has followed me. Curiosity gets the better of me and I click on the account.

'Amazing Phil' OMG, no. It can't be. Can it? Only one way to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi here is another shit chapter but I'll make this one longer

 **Phil's POV**

I always wondered why only a first name appeared on my hand. I just had Daniel wrote down my finger. Just Daniel. I got so worried that he had died but last night I went to sleep and was woken with pain as the rest of the name scribbled out. One name on each finger going- _Daniel James Howell_ in a spiral. Although the handwriting is a bit messy I love it anyway. I immediately jumped off my bed and ran across the room to my laptop. Opening it I searched his name. Nothing came up. I sat back on my bed in a pout. I'm not giving up I thought. I searched on Tumblr and I found a blog called Danisnotonfire. I chuckle to myself on how corny the name is. I scroll through his Tumblr and notice it is a little dark like mine with added humour. I got overwhelmed and clicked follow.

I was a little sad in the morning to find nothing had changed. No acknowledgement. I collected my stuff together and headed down to the shop. Now I've finished school I wanted a gap year where I can work in a charity shop down my road, I go every day from ten till half three. It gets boring sometimes but I like helping people and this is the best I can do. Plus the summer holidays are coming up and we get busy. I help my mum out a lot too as we've just moved from Manchester because she got a new job and I'm applying for college placements. It's not all that bad. My dad left when we were young and my brother has his own apartment now with his girlfriend. We're a very open minded family so they know about me being gay.

"Muuuum" I call from the top of the stairs. "Yeah" she replies. "I'm going to work now want me to pick anything up on the way back?" "Yeah we need some milk." "Okay, I'll pick it up. See you later" I say as I run down the stairs and go to the shop a few minutes late. School should be finishing this week so we might get more customers. I really hope that this 'Danisnotonfire' is the one I'm after.

 **Dan's POV**

Getting all anxious I just turned my laptop off and went to sleep. Last day of school today so I need to get through that.

I woke up to the sound of my phone alarm across the room, my way of making sure I get up. I grab my stuff and get changed while going into the bathroom trying to tie my necktie and brush my hair. I brush my teeth and straighten my hair. I look the usual. Alright I guess. I go back into my room, pick up my stuff and head downstairs, unknowingly greeted by my mom jumping into me for a hug. "Aw my big boy, you're all grown up. Last day of high school." She gushes. "Mom I need to go, I have to get my bag from the utility room." I say tiredly as I walk past her. "I might go for a walk later so I'll text you if I'm staying out." "Okay sweetie, have fun." She says enthusiastically. "Sure. Fun" I reply sarcastically.

The day passes and stupid people are saying stupid things that are never going to happen while crying. Leavers. Goodbye school I think as I dramatically throw my arms about. I start heading back but as I said this morning, I decided to go for a walk. I walked a bit further due east today from the park where I normally read, staring at someone sat in my usual seat and giving them an evil look.

I haven't been here in a while I think to myself as I see the row of shops and particularly a new one. Well it probably isn't new as I haven't been here in like a year. I walk over and head inside. It smells like antique paintings and furniture. An unaccustomed smell to me. I scan through the books and notice no one at the till. I pick up a book and read the blurb noticing it sounds quite interesting and start reading it. I get through the first few pages and here a door open and a voice. "-bring it up later" I hear and see a tall man holding a new painting to replace an older one. He notices there's a customer and goes straight to the till. "Hello sir, may I help you?" he asks in a low voice. I turn to look at him and stop. Fuck. He's so fit. Skinny black jeans with OMG a Muse shirt and black converses. I look up at his face and he has perky red lips and eyes that can kill, they're so blue and I think I see a hint of green. He has jet black hair swooped across the one side of his face that just about touches the top of his eyebrow. I stood still unable to move. He coughs and blushes. "Sir?" he questions, bringing me back to my senses. "Oh, sorry… I wanted to buy this book." I shuffle over awkwardly. I notice he has a name tag the reads 'Phil'. Oh my god. This can't be a coincidence. I pull my sleeve down slightly but I'm pretty sure he saw it. "Are you trying to hide your tattoo? It's okay, I don't judge." He replies calmly, giving me a glance at that gorgeous smile. "Oh, I… err…" I mumble. He gives me another smile and tells me the price of the book. "So do you work here often?" I ask. "Yeah I do, my shifts are 10 till half three until the academic season starts and I'll hopefully start college." "You go to college?" I question while handing him the correct change. "Yeah I moved here about a year ago after I finished school but I helped my mum with the house and started working here so I had no time." He starts to take the painting he brought down earlier over to the shelves and swaps it for another. "I finished school today. I hated it there. No friends and no life." I suddenly start opening up without realising. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." We both go quiet until he breaks it. "Hey I finish in a few minutes so if you wait we can go to the café next door and continue this conversation… if you want to that is." He rambles on at the end. "Sure." I reply simply. He smiles and takes the painting he took down upstairs. I continue reading my book I just brought and think about Phil. I really think this might be him. He's so great in every little detail.

"See you tomorrow Jill." he says coming out with a bag and someone presumably Jill follows him and heads to the desk. "Hey, let's go." We headed out and back in next door. I texted my mom saying I was staying out and told Phil my order. I started getting my money out but he stops me. "No it's fine, I'll pay." He says kindly but I reject his offer. "It's my coffee, its fine." I reply with a smile, I'm not used to smiling.

We sat and talked for hours. Eventually the shop closed and we exchanged numbers. Heading our separate ways I can't help but smile. This summer is going to be great.


	3. Chapter 3

**Dan's POV**

I got back around 7 clock, my mom looking a bit worried because I don't normally stay out past 6. "Hi mum." I say as I wave. "I might go out tomorrow. Oh and I was thinking about volunteering for this charity shop past the park." My mom comes to greet me replying "that's good, get you out of the house, and meet new people. Your brother and I are going to his karate class in a few minutes because its Friday already, doesn't time pass? There are more groceries in the freezer for when you want dinner and how was school?" "School was okay, boring and stupid because there are too many people crying." She laughs "that's school for you." "When's dad back?" I ask. "Oh he should be back late today I think, meeting with the board" she picks up my brothers bag and calls up the stairs. "AIDAN, we need to go or you'll be late. Well I'll see you later then sweetie, make sure you clean up after yourself." My brother runs down the stairs with his shoes under his arms and trying to tie up his belt. "See you later chicken. "He says as he passes me and I poke him in the side. "I'm not a chicken." I say playfully and try to poke him more but mum complains and leaves for the car.

I walk up the stairs nearly tripping over my own feet, ugh I'm so clumsy, and plonk myself on the bed. I get my book from my night stand and start reading a new page titled _**No Help For That**_

 _There is a place in the heart that  
will never be filled_

 _a space_

 _and even during the_  
 _best moments_  
 _and_  
 _the greatest times_  
 _times_

 _we will know it_

 _we will know it_  
 _more than_  
 _ever_

 _there is a place in the heart that_  
 _will never be filled_  
 _and_

 _we will wait_  
 _and_  
 _wait_

 _in that space._

I've always loved Charles Bukowski. He speaks the truth that everyone else fears to. This is one of my favourites because it's hopeful, waiting.

My phone pings and I have a message from Phil. My heart races as I pick it up.

 _Hi ._ **Messaged received** 7.18 pm –Phil

 _Hey :)_ **Message sent** 7.18

 _Do you know the book you picked up earlier? What was it called?_ **Message received** 7.19 –Phil

 _Darkness becomes her. Why?_ **Message sent** 7.19 pm

 _Thanks. I read the blurb that morning and if it didn't sell today I was going to buy it…_ **Message received** 7.19 pm

 _Oh… well you can borrow it when I've read it if you want to :)_ **Message sent 7.20 pm**

 _YES! Thank you. :D_ **Message received** 7.21 pm

 _Hey, do you have Tumblr?_ **Message sent** 7.21 pm

 _Yeah, it's Amazing Phil_ **Message received** 7.22 pm

It can't be. It's him. I didn't do anything to answer him following me. I just went to school. I so want this to happen, but I'm afraid. My dad might find out. He's older than me, so they'll know. But dad is hardly ever here, so how can I be sure. I look at my wrist. This is all getting too much again. I go to the bathroom and lock the door. Trying to find it, where did I put it? Stupid brain just work. I pick up the cold, dead piece of metal.

 _Hey, you okay?_ **Message received** 7.38 pm

I ignore it and get in the shower. One. That's all it will take, just one cut to release all this pressure. And I did. And it stung. And I cried. I'm such a mess. What did I do to deserve a friend?

 **Phil's POV**

I don't get it. I was talking to him and then he suddenly stopped replying. Was it telling him my Tumblr name that made him stop? Maybe Danisnotonfire was his name and he's creeped out. I sigh and send a text hoping he'll reply this time.

 _Hey, you okay?_ **Message sent** 7.38 pm

Still. No reply. Shit man, my leg hurts. I go downstairs and ask my mom. "Mom, my chest hurts making me feel sad and I have this really sharp pain in my leg. Could this be linked to him?" I say extending my fingers. She sighs and tells me to sit. "Sometimes, when your soulmate hurts, you hurt. Not like just walking into a table and stubbing your toe, emotional pain. I sometimes feel it when your father misses me. I don't know why you get this but you do." She bows her head obviously a bit sad that even though she knows he misses her he still travels. "I think I found him though. There was a guy in the shop earlier today. I didn't see it all but I saw P on his wrist before he covered it with his sleeve. We spoke for a few hours after my shift and I gave him my number so we could continue talking, which we did. Then he stopped when I told him my Tumblr name. Then I felt this pain a little while later." I feel so confused. "Best thing to do is let him reply in his own time, he might not feel up to talking which is why he stopped." She says so calmly. "Okay, thanks mom." I stand up and walk back to my room. My leg still stinging and the ache still there. I hope you're okay Dan.


	4. Chapter 4

How have I got like 35 visitors? This is literal garbage. Okay here is the next chapter a bit early but meh.

 **Dan's POV**

 _Hi, I'm sorry I didn't reply. I couldn't remember where I put my phone down and didn't find it until this morning_ **Message sent** 10.47 am

I really hope he believes that, after all I am going to the shop today. I grab my jumper and head out. It's Saturday morning so it should be open by now. Just in case I get too hot I wore a long sleeve t-shirt to hide the name. The walk to the shop was unnerving and slow. The streets were dead and silent and that made me even more nervous.

I walk in and see the same woman behind the till, presumably Jill. She smiles and greets me to the shop. "Err… I was wondering if I could volunteer here as it's the six weeks, I have a lot of free time."

"That's great, of course. Come this way." She takes me through the door I saw Phil come through the other day and takes me to the upstairs storage place. She hands me a form and explains the health and safety. "You can start whenever you like. There's someone else who works here as well. He should be bringing in donations from the back so you'll meet him soon enough." She smiles and picks up a box and takes it to the next room. "I actually met him yesterday." I say rocking on my feet. "Oh, you did? Well you should get along fine then. I have to go back to the shop floor. Would you like to start today?" "Yeah, that's fine by me." I go over and help with the box she's carrying. "Thank you. Then maybe you could help Phil sort out the new donations, he will explain it to you. You can leave when you like just pop downstairs and sign out in the black book, first draw." I follow her down and place the box on the counter. "Okay, thank you."

I head back up and see Phil organising blue and black bin bags. I stand awkwardly in the office door way not speaking. I like his build, tall and muscular but not too muscular. His glasses are cute too. I like the way his hair just falls on his face too. He turns and sees me staring. "Hi, I got your message. Where was it anyway?" I stand there shocked trying to make up something. "Oh, I err. I kinda left it in the fridge." He stands there confused before questioning "Wait, you left it in the fridge? Why would you do that?" "It's not like I did it on purpose. I must have left it there when I went to get a drink and my mum found it." I reply defensively. He laughs and shakes his head. "Well as you're here. Mind helping me?" I nod and walk over. "Blue bags are special. They give us a bit extra from the government so they go in this box; black bags are just normal donations. Electronics go in the corner but if they haven't been checked they go in this pile. We have seasonal clothes in the other corner. As it's summer now, anything winter goes in the seasonal pile. Cups, glass, plates anything like that and paintings go in brickabrack on or under those shelves. We have to sort these bags out today and I doubt there's any brickabrack. Oh and if something is broken or there's a rip or stain it just goes in rags, get a black bag and just put it in there, make sure I know it's the rag bag or I'll sort it." Wow that all seems complicated but I suppose I can get used to it. "Okay, what should I start with?" He stands there humming to himself until he tells me to sort the clothes in the black bags and hang them ready for him to steam. "So when's lunch?" I ask. He shakes his head "Whenever you like, but I'm taking mine at the usual time of 12.15 to 12.45." "Okay, I'll leave when you do." I answer with a smile.

Time passes as we talk casually and the last hour he was on the shop floor. He taught me how to tag the clothes and use the steamer before he went. While Jill went for lunch I messed about downstairs with him, helping a few customers here and there. "Why would you say that?" Phil questions while crying from laughter. "What?" I ask "It wasn't even that good of a joke." "Hey! That's mean. It was a very good joke for your information." Jill comes back and sends us back up to finish the last few bags.

"Phew, that was effort." I say as we finish the last bag. "Yeah, it's tiring but worth it because you're helping someone, somewhere." I smile. He's so kind. "Hey… what are you going to do when we finish?" he looks over a bit puzzled. "Nothing much, why?" "Well I was just wondering if you wanted to come over and play video games…" He beams, his eyes sparkling with his mouth. "I'd love to."

We go down and sign out. "See you Monday Jill." Phil says as he puts the book back in the draw. "Bye, you two." She replies. "Bye." I say waving and closing the door. "My house is this way." I always wondered why he wears gloves but I didn't ask until now. "Why do you wear gloves?" His composure shifts slightly. "Well, I guess I could tell you." He pauses before stopping and I stop with him. "Some people aren't that accepting. I'm gay and the name is on my fingers so I don't really want people knowing in case they judge." He rolls on his feet looking down. "Hey. Phil." He looks up. I put a hand on his shoulder. "It's fine. No one knows this, but so am I. I haven't even told my mum because my dad is homophobic." He turns and gives me a hug which I think was more his benefit than mine. He lets go and steps back going red. "Sorry. I just needed a hug." I smile kindly and open my arms. "Hug all you want." He grins and hugs me again. "Thank you." I rest my head on his shoulder until he lets go again. "You okay now?" I ask. "My dad might be home today but I'm not sure so keep them on." We start walking again and get back to my house within ten minutes.

We walk in and my dad is in the kitchen eating his dinner. "Hello son. Your mother is still at work and I will be going back soon. Would you mind telling her that I have to travel and won't be back until Tuesday?" he says all this without looking up. When he does look up he stares at me and Phil. "And who is this?" "This is Phil. He works at the charity shop I'm volunteering at." He hums and continues eating. "Just don't make a mess." "Okay, we won't. My game console is upstairs in my room Phil." I reply to my dad and tell Phil to follow me. "He seems very serious." Phil comments when I close my door. "Yeah he is. He's fucking scary when he's angry." I go over and start my Xbox. "I can imagine." "Pick a game." Phil follows my hand to the collection on my shelf. He hands me a game. "Guitar Hero. Good choice. Just you wait to be beaten. I'm the best" He laughs. "You, beat me? You wish." We played 4 songs and I realised I'd run my mouth. He beat me 3 times out of four because I blocked the screen one time. He tackled me to the floor. "Cheater." He exclaimed. "Nope. No I'm not." He starts tickling me. "Admit it." He pinned my arms back. He looked at my hand as I tried to escape from his grip and stopped. He let me go. "What is it." I say sitting up. I realised my sleeve lifted up. Shit. He must have seen. "Your name, Dan. What's your last name?" I gulp. "It doesn't matter does it?" "Please. What's you name." I sigh. "My full name is Daniel James Howell…" his eyes widen. He stands up and runs out of my room. I run after him. "Phil. Stop." He stops and turns towards me taking off his gloves. He extends his hand towards me looking down. "It really is you." He says calmly. I read the name on his fingers. And sure enough there is my name. It's written on his skin; my name, on his skin, for the rest of his life. "I'm sorry I ran out. I saw Phillip written on your arm and I was shocked I guess." I run up closer to him and hug him as close as I can. "Phillip Michael Lester. Will you be my boyfriend?" He lifts his head and nods. I kiss him softly on the lips and he smiles into the kiss. "Is it okay if I stay over? It's a bit late." I nod and bring him back into my room. "You can borrow my clothes if you want to." I suggest "Are you sure?" I love how flustered he is right now. "Okay." "Okay." He laughs. "Are you trying to do the fault in our stars thing?" he shakes his head at me. "Maybe." "Okay Dumbo." I kiss him quickly. "I'm gonna get changed. These should fit." I say handing him some pjs. "Back in a minute." I say leaving for the bathroom. I get changed and wander back to my room to see the door ajar and Phil pulling the shirt I lent him on. I knock and enter. "You have a good body by the way. I've been wanting to say that for a while." He shakes his head and walks over. "Did you just watch me get changed?" "No but I saw you pulling your shirt on because you didn't close the door properly." He laughs. "Maybe I meant to do that." "Whatever you weirdo, you sleeping on the floor or next to me?" "Well the floor looks pretty comfortable." He jokes and I throw a pillow at him. "But the bed will be comfier." He climbs in and stares at the ceiling, unsure on how close to get. "You don't have to sit so far away you know." He rolls over to face me. "I know I just haven't had somebody to call more than a friend before. I don't know how to act." I shuffle closer "Don't worry neither have I. Let's just go to sleep." "Okay." "Okay." He laughs again. "Seriously? Just stop already with John Green." "Okay." I repeat.


	5. Chapter 5

so sorry I'm late, i procrastinate like hell. you know, school work and anime. like Dan says, anime will ruin your life. okay I'll see if i can upload another by Wednesday maybe

Phil's POV

I woke in an unfamiliar bed. Sunlight streamed in from the open blind and the room silent but soft breathing. I was at Dan's house.

There was incredible warmth at my back and the familiar scents of Dan's shampoo, clean skin, and something else—a note of cologne or deodorant, I wasn't sure. It was a good combination, and I drew it deep into my lungs. I rolled slowly beneath the covers to rest on my other side. Dan lay on top of the white duvet, one arm tucked beneath his head. He wore a faded black T-shirt and baggy bottoms. His eyes were closed. He had a nice profile—masculine, noble- and it made me think of when I first met him.

I never thought I could meet someone like him. His stomach rose and fell with each breath. I wanted to place my palm flat on his abdomen and feel him for myself, to make sure this wasn't a dream. Ignoring the hurt in my arm from falling asleep on it, I reached out and pressed my pointer finger into his shoulder. The skin gave; it was soft. I did it again, still amazed.

A slow grin tugged at his red lips, making a dimple in his cheek. "Why," he said in a sleep-deepened voice, keeping his eyes shut, "are you poking me?"

A warm glow washed over me like sunlight after a long winter; I smiled instantly. I slid my hand under my cheek and just stared. "I'm poking you because you're real." He turned his head, eyes opening. We stared at each other for a long moment.

He ducked his head, hair flopping over his face. I catch a smile at his lips as he tries to hide his blush. "Hey" he looks up. "I'm so glad we met, I know it's only been a few days but I err." Now I'm the one blushing. "I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you." I lift his hand up and intertwine our fingers. I look at my name on his arm. "And this-" I say pointing to the tattoo with my other hand. "-Is only a name. I can either be you soulmate, your best friend, the annoyance or all of the above. You don't need to feel obliged to be with me if you don't want to. I'm never going to force you into anything." His face drops and he releases my hand, flying into my chest and wrapping his arms around my neck. My arms find his middle. "It's not just a name. I still can't believe I found you even after I ignored you following me on Tumblr. I got scared because you found me so fast. Why didn't you look for me before?" "I never had your full name until you got mine. I don't know why though, my mum didn't tell me even though I knew she knew why. Is everything okay?"

Dan's POV

My heart stops dead. I hug him tighter and lie. "Yeah it is, why?"

"Well I read up about it online when I felt this pain in my chest the day the rest wrote out." I realised this is when I was feeling down and self-harmed. I feel bad now because it hurt him too. "You can tell me if you're not okay. I'm not going to judge." It's not about that Phil. I don't want you to hold all my troubles on your shoulders. "I don't know. I'm fine." "Are you sure?" he pulls me out of the hug and looks me in the eyes. "Yeah I am, really… Let's go get breakfast." I stand up and run down the stairs so he doesn't see that my eyes are glassy. I see my mom in the kitchen and walk past her to the fridge so I can wipe my eyes. "Hi sweetie, is someone here? Your brother is at Jordan's." Phil walks into the kitchen when my mom turns away. "Oh! Who's this?" she says shocked when she notices him standing behind me. "Yeah there is someone here." I hold my hands out pointing to Phil "As you can tell. This is Phil." He smiles awkwardly and waves. "Hello Mrs. Howell." "Hello dear, you scared me a bit there. Appearing out of nowhere." He scratches the back of his head. "Sorry ma'am." She pats her hand down. "Oh don't use that language with me. Call me Diane." "Okay." We all go silent as Phil doesn't know what to say and I'm concentrating on not spilling the apple juice. "Do you "Want some toast or cereal?" I ask. "Cereal please, because I must say… I'm a cereal killer." That was such a bad joke. We both start laughing as my mom shakes her head. "He's a keeper, now you can tell someone else your bad jokes." She starts walking into the living room with her coffee she just made. "HEY! My jokes aren't that bad." "Yes they are." I sink my head down as she giggles to herself and Phil pats my shoulder. "Hey, "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral." "What the fuck Phil? How is that supposed to help?" "I don't know, I just thought it was funny…" I shake my head and lean into him putting my hands on his chest. "Dan. Your mum." I move away. "Oh yeah… Right your cereal." I walk over to the cupboard and get out the rice crispy box feeling a little sad that I have to hide my relationship with Phil. I get a bowl out for him and the milk. "Pour as much as you want." I walk into the living room with my bowl and plonk on the sofa; Phil sits down next to me. "So Phil, how long have you been friends with Dan?" He eats the mouthful slowly. "Only a few days I guess. We have a lot in common." "Well you must be special then. He never brings anyone over." "Mooom." I whine. "Aw shut up you, I haven't seen you with a girlfriend ever and you never mention any names of friends. So when are you going to show me your tattoo?"

I shift uncomfortably then Phil saves me speaking out of the blue. "I don't think tattoos are all that important at the moment. I remember when I finished my GCSEs and was all stressed, it's not exactly the best time for it to come is it?" "I don't think so too, poor kids. So you're not Dan's age. How old are you then?" she asks. "Only 17, I had a gap year between college which I should start in September and secondary school because I needed to help my mum." Thank god you changed the subject Phil. I notice I'm staring at him and go back to my breakfast. "Oh, is there something the matter with her? Is your father not there to help?" "Err no he's not, he left to travel when I was young. And there is something wrong with her, but she still works because we need the money. I have a paid job at the charity shop where Dan volunteers now but it's not enough." "Aw well that's a shame. You're always welcome here. Make sure to bring your mother over for dinner some time." He smiles. "Okay. Thank you." "My pleasure, you're such a sweet young man." I finish my bowl and notice Phil has too but is too awkward to take it to the kitchen on his own. Standing up and going to the kitchen Phil follows. "So, what do you want to do now?"

Phil's POV

"I don't know." He turns to wash the dishes. "I put my hand on his hip and tickle him. "Hey! This isn't a thing to do. This is torture. I'm gonna break a dish if you don't stop." He laughs loudly and I can see his dimple. "Keep down in there you two." His mum shouts laughing herself knowing I'm tickling him. "I don't care that you're tickling him, I'm trying to read." "Sorry Mrs Ho-oh yeah, Diane." She laughs again. "You're mean mom. Tell him off, don't encourage him." Dan shouts back with no reply from Diane. He runs off upstairs and I follow him. I catch him up quickly and tackle him onto the bed. I tickle him more. "HEY! Staaaahp." He says giggling and squirming. "Fine." I say stopping. "You can't just attack me and then say that. It's like saying-" I pin his arms above his head and put my hand over his mouth. His eyes gaze from my eyes to my lips. I move my hand and lean down to kiss him to shut him up. I sit back up letting him go, only to be attacked by him pinning _my_ arms back. "And you can't just shut me up by kissing me." He kisses me this time and I open my eyes after I hear a noise. Oh shit.

His mum is in the doorway. I slowly and quickly push Dan off of me with him giving me a puzzled look. I nudge his arm to the door and watch his eyes widen. "Mom." She's still in shock and now so is he, I have no idea what to do or say so I just sit there.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so sorry for procrastinating again. This chapter is a little sad so.

Phil's POV

"I… err… I'm sorry." Dan says still in shock ducking his head. His mom stands there for at least another 10seconds still processing what she saw before running over. "Dan, baby why are you sorry." She hugs him while he turns his head still facing the floor but my way. "Shush, there's no need to be sorry. I just wish you would have told me." She rocks him a little and he lifts his head towards me and my heart just drops. He jolts back away from her out of nowhere. "Don't tell dad. Please don't tell dad." He looks so scared and I can see his eyes watering. This is killing me to see him so sad. "I won't tell your father sweetheart, I know what he is like. But he will find out sooner or later." He breaks there and then and I can't hold back. I hurdle at him pulling him into a hug. I take my gloves off and wipe his eyes. "Hey, Dan. Shush. She accepts you, okay? Everything is fine." I look over at Diane and she gives me a solemn smile. She stands up and heads to the door. "I'll leave you too to your peace. I'm sorry for interrupting." "It's okay Mrs. Howell. Thank you for not judging him and kicking me out." She nods and takes her leave. I face my attention back at Dan. "Hey, Dan. It's gonna be fine. If it goes for the worst you always have me. He shakes his head in my chest. "No it won't, you only met my dad yesterday. You don't know what he's like." I rest my chin atop his head. "I know Dan. But that doesn't mean I can't change his mind. What's worse, having a gay son or never seeing his son again. He loves you, even though he may not show it. He won't just throw away 16 years because of who you date. And if he does he can answer to me." He hugs my tighter. After a few minutes, and he stops sniffling, I break the silence. "Daniel. Look at me." He looks up. I lift his arm and put my hand next to it. "This means he can't break us. No one can if you don't want it to. I sure don't want to let a man stand between us, even if it is your father." He looks my straight in the eyes all through me talking. I lean my head down and kiss him on the forehead. "Shall we go downstairs? Or would you like to wrap up in your duvet?" he rolls back and gets under the duvet. "Quilt, I'm cold." I chuckle. Standing up I head for the door. "I won't be gone long but there's something I need to do. Okay?" "Okay. But can you be quick. I don't feel too good." "Okay." I go over and kiss his forehead again. I leave as quickly as I can, running down the stairs and out the door. First stop; I need to get money.

I arrive back at Dan's house in 20 minutes and his mum answers the door. "Hello again Phil, he hasn't moved. I tried talking to him but he wouldn't talk..." she stopped for a second to think. "You have your gloves back on? Would you mind me asking why you wear gloves, I saw them upstairs but nothing is wrong." I step inside. "I err… you know I'm gay right, because of what happened earlier. Well, people judge me for the tattoo on my fingers. I had it rough through the last year of school so I decided to wear gloves to cover them." I look down as she heads to the sofas in the living room. "Awe, well I'm sorry to hear that… is it Daniel's name?" I nod. "Yes it is. Is there something going on with Dan? I asked if everything was okay in his life this morning and he said everything is fine. Only thing is I know he was lying." She lowers her head a little looking at her hands. "I guess it's my fault for not mentioning that I am unlike his father. I had a friend when I was your age who was gay…" she sighed and continued. "He was bullied pretty badly and I tried to stop it but I ended up getting hurt too. He committed suicide during the first week of summer break saying he didn't want to hurt me too. That's why I could never judge Dan for feeling that way. It's inked on his skin, who am I to judge nature." I go over and give her a hug. "It's okay Mrs Howell. Oh yeah sorry, Diane. I'll see if I can change his mind about the way he thinks you feel… Is it alright, if when your husband finds out and it turns for the worst, that I stand up for him, even if it means Dan having to leave? He won't be very far if he does, you can visit whenever you like. But I am not the one to judge either. I just don't want his father hurting him and Dan having to live with it." "He won't have to leave because his father hates the idea. Paul will have to live with that fact; whether he likes it or not. And I will do my all to make sure he doesn't feel that he needs to leave." "Thank you. I better go back up and comfort him." "Okay sweetie. Thank you for taking care of him." I nod and take my shoes off at the bottom of the stairs, running up then quietly knocking on the door. I hear a groan. "Dan… It's me. May I come in?" I hear a muffled yes and go in. "What took you so long?" I give a small smile and sit at the side of his bed places my backpack next to the bedside drawer. "I'm sorry; I was talking to your mum. She really cares about you, you know that right?" he hides under his duvet and I take the opportunity to open my backpack and take out a rose, some chocolate and a movie. "If you hide under there I won't be able to see you." "Maybe I don't want you to." I sigh and move the top of the duvet down below his head. "Well you won't be able to see what I got you then." He rolls over to face me, seeing the rose in my hand and the others on the drawer. His face lifts into a small smile of appreciation and he gives me a hug. "You didn't have to. I'm not worth it." He speaks into my shoulder. "You're worth it to me." He hugs me tighter then moves away to open the duvet allowing me to sit with him. "Dan, I know you lied about being fine. I shouldn't have asked such a trivial question where the answer was obvious. You're not okay. I can see it… I can feel it." I lay down and he sighs and rests his head and hand on my chest. "I know. I dint want you to bare my problems. We haven't even been friends for long but I know I can trust you." I smile at the fact he trusts me. "If they trouble you, they trouble me. I will always bare your feelings when you won't show them." I kiss above his crown and he lifts his head to look at me. "Why? Why did you feel bad too?" "I don't know. My mum said something about feeling the emotions of the other when they are felt strongly. Like when my mum misses my dad." He hums and nuzzles his head back on my chest. "I guess you must have felt terrible then. When I self-harmed on my leg I had a break down so how did it make you feel?" My eyes widen. "You what?" I say sitting up. He sifts to me suddenly moving and looks down. "Did you not feel it?" "Yes I did but why? Why did you feel that low?" "School, dad, thinking my mom would hate me, having no friends, an endless pit of despair." I sigh and open my arm to which he gladly cowers into me. "I'm sorry you felt that way." "I'm sorry it hurt you too." He lifts his head and I kiss him on the lips this time. He kisses back. It's only a short and gentle kiss but full of emotion all the same. I look at the time on my phone and see its only 1:26 in the afternoon. "Want to go for a nap? You must be worn out with all the stress." "Yeah I am pretty tired. Okay." "Okay." I lay down with him still in my arms but lay on my back so he can hold me. "Don't worry Dan. I'll always be here for you." "Thank you. Good night nap." I chuckle and repeat it. "Goodnight nap." I close my eyes and feel sorry that he had to go through what I did. I start to feel sick as I remember but Dan moves on my chest and brings me back to reality. I hug him tighter. I have you Dan.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm so sorry I'm like two weeks late. Hope you're still reading this. I've been a bit busy. Thought I'd upload them both as I'm late. If you're not a member of this website and you're a guest you can still comment on it, so could you tell me what you think and where I can improve? Thanks.**

Phil's POV

I wake up and notice there is a weight on my chest. I look down and remember that his mum found out and start feeling pity again. I detach myself from his grip and place a pillow in his arms. I waddle down the stairs and hear his mum in the kitchen making dinner. I didn't realise it was that late until I looked at the clock as I passed. "Hi Diane, is it five already?" she turns and gives me a small smile. "Yeah, you and Daniel looked pretty comfortable so I left you. Plus he needed space." "Yeah… thanks for that. So what are you cooking?" she turns back to cooking and replies. "Pasta bake, one of Dan's favourites." "It smells amazing. You'll have to give me the recipe." She chuckles, and asks me to hand her the cheese. She spreads it out evenly and puts it in the oven. "So when do you think it will be done?" "Oh only about ten to fifteen minutes then I'll take it out and wait for it to cool enough to serve it up." "Okay, I'll go wake Dan up." I jog up the stairs and creep into the room; sure enough he's still asleep.

I shake him slightly and remove the pillow from his arms. "Dan… Dan, it's time to wake up." He murmurs and I catch a 'no too early.' "Dan. It's five in the afternoon. Your mum is cooking dinner." He rolls over away from me and curls up into a ball. "No get up. Bed is warm… mom still hates me." I sigh and walk over. Taking the duvet from him I reply "Dan, she's your mum. She loves you no matter what. Have you spoken to her properly? If you have you'd know she doesn't care if you're gay. She even said to me that if your father kicks you out that you can live with me and she will do all she can to make sure that doesn't happen. She's you mum Dan, she won't just throw all the effort it took to raise you away… Now why don't you come down for dinner? Can you guess what she's made? He lifts he head and inhales through his nose. A small smile grows on his face. "My favourite." I put my hand on his. And he lowers his head again looking solemn. "I'm sorry I'm being a burden. This is just me sulking over nothing." I move the duvet off of him and let go of his hand. I pull him closer and he leans his head on my shoulder. I start to stroke and twist his hair as we sit in silence for a few minutes. Breaking the silence I say

"You're not a burden. Everyone on this earth is meant to be here for some reason. I now know my reason, to save you. My mum used to tell me to run and never look back, to find my dream and keep it in my heart because she feared what the world would do if I had no reason to live, that she'd lose me. I guess I was her reason, after my dad left that is. He writes her letters sometimes and sends us money to help but it's not the same. I thought my reason was to see my mom happy and healthy, but that dream is fading. I can see her getting more ill and she's going to have to resign from her job at some point. I'm scared of losing her Dan. And I don't want to lose you either. Without her, before I met you I would have been lonely and just existing. If I can't save her I want to save someone. Don't leave me Dan, please. I thought about what you said earlier and I don't understand why you would hurt yourself. You just got your name and then you self-harm? Why? Was it because of me even though you had no idea who I was?" I feel a tear fall down my cheek as I think of it all. I close my eyes and take in a breath; a hand wipes under my eyes and cups my face.

"It wasn't you. It's me, you're right though. I don't really have a reason to exist. My dad hates me; mom is probably fed up of me and you. I don't know what to feel with you. I mean like 'you have your whole life ahead of you' is bullshit. We have no idea when our life will end. And I'm 'still young' apparently. It's basically like Lily Allen says before she lost it. 'I don't know what's right and what's real anymore. I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore. When do you think it will all become clear? I fear the future." He sighs. "I can't promise you anything Phil, I'm sorry. I won't leave you for someone else, I can actually promise that. What I can't promise is me leaving and following death." He bows his head again and leans back into me. "Okay Dan. How about I change your mind? How about I show you what it's like to feel happy about your existence? Why don't we start by going downstairs and eating some dinner ay?" he nods his head against my chest.

We walk down the stairs slowly as Dan drags his feet. We get to the table and Diane notices the gloomy atmosphere. "Are you okay boys? Dinner is on the table with the cutlery" I nod and Dan heads to the table. I head over to Diane. "We're okay, just a bit iffy." She nods and we both walk over to the table. We eat our dinner in comfortable silence. Diane sat at the head of the table and me and Dan opposite each other. for most of the time we ate I had my legs entangled with Dan's until he stood up to get some water still looking gloomy but a bit better after eating some food.

After dinner we both went back upstairs and left Diane talking with what I'm guessing is Dan's brother on the phone. "Hey Dan, want to play a game?" he plops himself on the bed lying down straight away. "What game?" I jump on the bed next to him. "I don't actually know, I thought you would suggest one…" he laughs slightly and rolls over to face me. "How about the death alphabet?" he looks serious but then fails by smiling again. "What the hell is 'the death alphabet'?"

"For every letter you say a way to die starting with that letter. I'll start. A, asphyxiation." I laugh.

"Okay. Why start with strangling. You could have gone for something more gruesome. You could have gone for apocalypse. Anyway, I'm guessing I'm B. burned."

"Cannibalism."

"How much have you thought about this? Disease."

"Not that much… I get bored at school. Epileptic fit."

"Falling object, falling piano!" he laughs at me "What? I got excited because it suddenly came to me."

"Nothing, gas."

"I'm guessing you got bored a lot? Hanged."

"Yeah, no friends equals bored a lot. Impaled."

"Err, Jumping off high place. Does that count?"

"Yeah I guess; it starts with J. Knife wound."

I roll over to him and poke his side. " **Love**." he stares at me, and put his head by my neck before speaking.

"Murder." He breathes at my neck and I shudder.

"Not eating." He rolls onto his back again and stares at the ceiling.

Sighing he says "Overdose."

I give a small smile. "Poison."

"I'm stuck at q… Quackle…" "what does quackle mean?" "suffocate even though we've said dying by no oxygen."

"Touchy subject but rape."

He laughs as he says s. "Sex." "How can you die from sex? Why not just say suicide?" "Because… it's better to die with the person you love rather than on your own." He looks at me when he says this. I wait a few second before replying. "True but sex doesn't always mean it's with the person you love. What about prostitutes?" "Hmmm true."

"Tornado."

"Under water for too long? Don't think that counts but oh well." "It counts Phil."

"Vendetta."

"You've left the hardest for me. What the hell would I say for W?" "You could have wanze into nothing, which means to fade away." "I don't know anymore… want to stop Dan?" he hums then agrees.

"What do you want to do now?" "I don't know maybe sleep." "You always want to sleep Dan." He pushes me off the bed and rolls the duvet over him and rolls to the other side again. "OW! What did you do that for?" "Wanted the duvet. Are you not getting onto the bed? Dearie me, seems like you like sleeping on the floor." He shakes his head and faces the wall. I scowl at him even though I know he's joking. "Meanie, you have just asked. And for your information the floor is very uncomfortable and maybe _you_ should sleep on the floor." "And why would _I_ do _that_?" he rolls over and sticks his tongue out at me. "Because otherwise I will do this!" I jump on him and he groans and whines for me to get off squirming like a worm in the duvet. "This is your own fault. You shouldn't have pushed me off." "Okay, okay. Move and I'll share." I move off of him and he gets out of the duvet and lays it out flat so I can have it too. "Thank you, idiot." He huffs at me and turns away, hitting me with his hip as he does. "No need to be so huffy you angry little baby." He turns and scowls at me. "I. Am. Not. A. Baby." He pokes his tongue out and I snip it with my fingers. "So what are you then?" "I don't know. I like llamas because they are lame like me." I laugh and poke him again. "Well I like lions because they are powerful and I'm jealous of how courageous they are." "Pfft, you are courageous Phil. You have to be to go out with me." "Well, I guess so. You are pretty annoying. You're loud, relentless and you're mean. I'll push you off the bed next time." "Hey! Now _that's_ mean." He pokes me and faces the wall again. "But there are also things you haven't shown me yet. And from what I do know, you're kind, intelligent and caring." I kiss his cheek and he turns to face me blushing. "You're also really cute when given compliments because you curl into yourself and you go all red." I chuckle to myself as he does just that and curls into himself using the duvet to cover half his face. "You're like a cute baby bear hiding behind your mum. Ha-ha." I bring my head down and push the duvet out of his face. I give him an Eskimo kiss and rub my nose on his. "So cute, I'm going to call you Bear from now on." "Okay, as long as I can call you Lion." "Okay my little Bear." "Okay my dauntless Lion." I chuckle again and kiss his lips softly and slowly. We stop and stare at each other. "These tattoos exist for a reason. Just like you Dan. We have each other now."


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry I take so long to upload... notes at the bottom**

Dan's POV

Sleep. Why can't I just fucking fall asleep man? I get up and walk to the bathroom without disturbing Phil. I splash water on my face and stare at my reflection. What is wrong with me? I don't see how Phil can find me at the small bit attractive. I lean against the wall and slide down resting my arms on my knees, plopping my head on my arms. Sitting there for a few minutes I go over what happened with mom again. He's gonna find out soon. He's going to hate me. He's going to hurt Phil. I can't let him hurt Phil; I don't care what happens to me but not Phil. He said he's coming back Tuesday and that's tomorrow. I start to cry to myself sat in the bathroom like a fucking loner. I really am pathetic.

Phil's POV

I woke up to an empty bed, checking the time on my phone I see it's 3:24 am. Where did he go? I get up and notice something off. It doesn't feel right. Why am I feeling down? Dan, it must be. I walk out of his bedroom and hear a small noise coming from the bathroom. I stand next to it for a few moments until I know for sure he's sniffling. He must be crying. I knock on the door quietly. "Dan, are you okay?" I hear him move suddenly and him whisper ow. "Yeah…" I consider this for less than a second and ask "Can I come in?" I hear the lock click and slowly open the door to find Dan sat against the wall with his head in his hands. I say softly while walking over and sitting next to him "Hey, what's the matter?" he shuffles and faces the other way slightly. "It's nothing." I sigh and turn him around to face me. I place my hand on his cheek. "It's not 'nothing'. It's half three in the morning and you're sat in the bathroom with your head in your hands… Is this about your dad coming back tomorrow?" he tries to dive his head to the side to avoid eye contact but I keep him facing me. He slowly nods his head. "Oh bear, it's okay. I'm here. Even if something does happen, your mum and I are both here. If it turns for the worst, your mum said it's okay to come live with me until she sorts it with your dad." I smile weakly as he looks up at me and jumps into a hug. I stroke his back with my left arm and his head with my right. "Thank you." He says meekly. "I'm only doing what I wished someone could do for me." He leans back leaving his hands on my shoulders. "What happened?" I realise I said too much and now it's my turn to look down. "It doesn't matter anymore. Don't fret." I chuckle to myself. "Why are we still sat on the bathroom floor? It's cold and my butt has gone to sleep." He laughs too. "Yeah it's pretty stupid. Want to head back?" He starts to stand up. "Actually no, I would like to sit here on this uncomfortable floor and ponder why my boyfriend is so hopeless and thinks that bad things are going to happen even though I'll always be there." He rubs the back of his neck and stutters slightly. "S-sorry." I stand up and place a hand on his shoulder. "I was being sarcastic Dumbo. You really are hopeless." I nuzzle my head into the crevice of his neck and we stand there for a few moments embraced in each other's safety. "I know you're scared Dan. And I know you may be scared for me too. I can see it in your face, but there's no need to worry for me. I can protect myself; I can protect you." I kiss his neck and start to walk back to his bedroom with him following slowly behind thinking over what I just said. I go to pick up my phone out of habit and he just sits on the bed staring at the floor. "A-are you sure?" I turn to face him. "Hmm? About what?" He's silent for a moment. "That you'll be alright… That you won't get hurt." My mood drops slightly by the fact he doesn't believe me. I kneel down in front of him and take his hands in mine. "Danny bear." He lifts his head to look me in the eyes. "Of course I will. I have you don't I? And you have me. We are soul mates for a reason. Maybe this is how it's supposed to be. The world against us but it goes to show that nothing will stand in my way... I will always find you." I bring a hand up to my face and kiss it gently. I look up and see Dan blushing slightly. "Come here you." He opens his arms and embraces me in a hug. "You're such a softie, you that Phil?" I giggle into his shoulder. "Only because I care."

 ***Mild sexual scene coming up. Skip if you don't want to read***

I let him go so we can both get back in the duvet. Lying opposite each other with my hand on his hip we sit there in silence just staring into each other's eyes. "What?" He suddenly says averting his eyes. "Nothing. It's just... you're so god damn cute when you're flustered. And your bed hair is sexy. He hides his face behind his hands and giggles. "No I'm not." He removes his hands from his face to look at me again but I've already moved to hover above him. "Yes you are." I lean down and nibble his ear. "Heeey. What are you doing. Stop that tickles." In a low husky voice I whisper "make me." I feel him squirm underneath and face his head away from me, leaving the perfect opportunity to attack his neck. I start sucking and biting on his neck and I hear him moan slightly. I hum against his neck in reply and start kissing up his neck to his jaw. He faces his head towards me placing a hand on the back of my neck and the other on my hair. "Kiss me, now." Knowing his obsession with anime I whisper "yes, my lord." And attack his lips in a fast and furious pace. I nibble his bottom lip asking for permission to enter his mouth and he happily grants it me. I get familiar with the feeling of his mouth as his tongue and mine slide against each other in a battle for dominance. He starts to get more desperate and falls into submission. I move a hand from the side of his head to his chest and slide my hand up his shirt stopping at his nipples and playing with one. He suddenly stopped kissing me to moan quite loudly. "Like that hmm? Well, your mum might hear you so you'd better keep it down." I continue playing with his nipple and start kissing him again until i stop to look at the expression on his face. "So fucking hot." I start kissing down his jaw and neck and ask permission to remove his shirt. He sits up and throws it on the floor eagerly, lying back down and bringing me down with him. I continue kiss down his neck getting lower and lower and stopping at his waist line. Rubbing my hands on his hips I slide them down to his thighs and massage them through his trousers. I make my way back up to his face placing my knee between his legs rubbing against his crotch. "Mmmm Phil, stop. Mom will hear us, I can't keep quiet." I laugh and get off him.

 ***over***

"Okay, sorry. I got a bit carried away." I lean my head on his shoulder and place my hand on his chest. My breathing is still high and so is his but we just sit there for a few minutes staring at the ceiling. "What was that anyway?" I stifle a giggle as I honestly reply. "I couldn't stop myself when I saw you. And it didn't help how you didn't contradict anything. If you'd of said I stop earlier I would have." He hums. "Thanks... But now I have to sleep with a boner because of you." He chuckles and ruffles my hair. "So do I. Guess it's payback for just pouncing on you... "I wait for a moment before speaking.

"I've never done this type of stuff before anyway." He sits up slightly so I'm forced to too. "Really? With what you did to me I didn't expect that. You definitely got me riling." He giggles again. "You're so cute." I lean over and nuzzle my nose against his. "I guess we had better get some sleep, ay then Danny boy." He kisses me softly before answering. "Yeah we better. And I'm not the cute one. You're the one who Eskimo kissed me." He lies flat on his back and I go to where I was originally positioned. I run my hand up and down the top half of his chest softly. "Goodnight Daniel." He kisses my forehead. "Goodnight Phillip."

 **Okay that's the end of this chapter. Sorry for me taking so long to upload recently. I've been a bit busy so. I'll try and get the next chapter wrote up so I can actually upload it on time text time. Hope you liked it. Who's scared for the next day?**


	9. Chapter 9

Dans POV

I wake up to a smile on my face. Looking down I see Phil is still asleep on my chest and breathing evenly. I push his fringe out of his face to get a better look. Why did this happen to me? It's not like I deserve him. He's too kind and considerate for someone like me, he'll probably get bored of me and go to someone else. My arm starts to burn and I flinch at the pain. I rub by tattoo where it hurts and look down at Phil. His breathing had increased and he's clinging on to me with a pained expression. "Phil. Hey, Phil." I try shaking his shoulder to wake him up. Speaking a bit louder I repeat his name "Phil!" He wakes up in cold sweat and pushes me away turning and falling onto the floor. He grabs his chest and tries to calm down, I can see he's hyperventilating so I run over to him. "Hey Lion, what's wrong. I've never seen you like this."

He lunges at me, grabbing my shirt tightly as I wrap my arms around him. "Hey, shh shh it's okay. I'm here." He's still shaking so I rock slightly, pick him up and sit back on the bed with him in my lap. He lifts his head and apologies. "I'm s-sorry. I d-didn't mean t-to scare you." I give him a solum expression and kiss his forehead. "It's okay. But can you tell me what happened. What were you dreaming about that made you physically react?" He puts his head down again and hides in my chest. It breaks my heart to see him like this. "I- I used to get bullied at school. It got real bad and I had to go to the hospital at one point... I just had a nightmare, well it was a memory but it doesn't matter. It's over now." I rest cheek on the top of his head. "Yes it does matter. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Is that what you meant last night? When you said I'm only doing what I wished someone could do for me?" I rock slightly to comfort him and rub my hand up and down his back. "Because you're here for me and I'm here for you." He nuzzles his head into my chest as he shakes his head. "I lied." I stop moving my hand down his back and lift my head. "About what?"

He's silent for a moment. "I- I can't protect myself... I never have been able to." I sigh and lift his head to face me. I kiss his lips slowly and softly. I notice his mood improve slightly more. "It doesn't matter. That was just the depressed me yesterday stressing over dad coming back. I can do it with you here. I can tell him." He smiles and leans his forehead against mine. "You are more brave than you think you are. I don't have that courage. Before he comes back I need to find my gloves. I don't want my mood affect yours if my tattoo gives us away." I smile back at him. "You don't need your gloves." I lift his hand and kiss his fingers where my name is tattooed. "Why would you want to hide what you are? I've given into your charm and your courage. You have passed it to me and now I can accept what I am. Thank you."

He turns and places a leg either side of me pushing me on my back without saying a word. I stare at him for a moment before bringing his head down and kissing him with a fast motion. Nothing can stand in our way. Not even my dad, not even the world. I brush my tongue on his lower lip and he lets me in. Before I know it my hands are above my head so I can't move and I've lost dominance, again. I don't mind, as long as I can taste him that's fine with me. He continues to make out with me with a passionate fury and then slows down. I open my eyes and he's already staring back at me. "I really really like you." I laugh. "I really really like you too." I wriggle my hands and he lets me go. "I need to sort my hair out before we go back down. Your fault, Phil." I stick my tongue out and he snitches it with his fingers. "Do it again and you'll loose it." I laugh as he wipes his hand on my shirt as we both stand up making our way to the bathroom.

I push him out the way with my hip and run to get there first. "Sorry need a wiz." He laughs and waits outside. I unlock the door to let him in after so we could do our hair. "Where's your straightener?" He's says as he nudges me with his elbow. "Bottom draw of my desk" I really feel I can do this. But I'm so nervous. What if he hits Phil? I physically shake my head to remove the thought. No, he won't. I won't let him hit Phil. I leave the bathroom to find Phil straightening his hair at my mirror and he smiles over at me. I give him a smile back as he places the straighteners down and starts to comb his fringe. I walk over and place my arms over his shoulders, resting my chin on his head. He stops what he was doing and holds my hands from that position. "It feels like we've been together for ages." He says suddenly. "I know. I guess it's the soul mates thing, it's just natural." I turn my head, resting my cheek instead and close my eyes. He lifts a hand and strokes my arm. "Hey you okay?" I open my eyes and hum. "Hmm, yeah. Just contemplating." He turns to face me. "Contemplating what?" I smile. "If you're ticklish." At that I start tickling his side which causes him to fall over the stall he was sat on. Pouting he pushes my leg. "Hmm, not speaking to you now." I laugh "okay, seriously... I was thinking about telling dad later and maybe the future. I've applied to the BTEC level three extended diploma in science at the college I'm going to I just have to wait for my results to come back." He stands up again after sulking. " I haven't thought much about mine. I like computer designing. Like web designers and video editing. Maybe for a company. I'll have to do a course at uni too..." he's silent for a moment and turns away from me leaving a finger on my desk. "But what if our jobs take us separate ways? What do we do then?" I walk over turning him to face me and hug him tightly. "We'll still be soul mates. You'll always have my heart lion." I kiss his cheek and lean my forehead against his. "And like you said to me. I'll always find you." He smiles and pecks my lips. "Let's stop thinking about the future. I have work tomorrow so I'll have to go back home today. Unless you want to stay at mine and come help me tomorrow at the store." I nuzzle my nose against his. "Sure. Tonight might not go well." He gives me a small smile at the thought it won't go as well as I hope.

Phil's POV

I hear Dan's mum come in from work and I head down the stairs to say hi. "Hey Diane." She smiles at me and asks for help. "Hey love. Could you help me put the shopping away." I smile back "sure, just tell me if I put something in the wrong place." I start organising what goes in the fridge and what goes in the cupboards I know when I hear Dan come down the stairs. "Daaaan. Can you put away these, I don't know where they go." He ruffles my hair as he passes and put the cans in a cupboard I didn't know was there, shows how much I pay attention. After we're done he walks past and kisses my cheek. "Want to play some video games?" I wonder how he's still in a high mood considering the time and that dinner is drawing near. That means talking to his father. "Sure, but when's dinner?" Diane buts in reply to my question "At six dear. Go ahead and I'll call you down in an hour." I smile, thank her and chase after Dan who is already in his room. "Before we start, how are you?" I looks a bit puzzled and then realises. "Oh... well I am a bit nervous but I can do it. I just have to wait till after dinner so I don't spoil what Mom has made." I walk over and give him a hug. "What game do you want to play then before dinner?" He's silent for a minute then tells me to chose and he'll be back in a minute. I wonder what he's doing. "Back." He walks through the door with a big duffle bag and a backpack. "What's that for?" He throws it on the bed and doesn't answer. "Are you going to answer my question?" He walks over to his drawer and starts surfing through it. "Nope. What game did you pick?" I walk over and place a hand on his arm. "Guitar hero. Answer my question. What are you doing?" He sighs and turn to face me. "Dad won't let me stay when I tell him. So I'm preparing my clothes to live at yours for a while..." My eyes go wide. That's why he's been so jumpy all day. He knows what's going to happen, but he's still doing it. And for me. "Oh my god, Dan." I say teary eyed. "What?" I hug him and don't let go. "He might say he doesn't love you, but he does. You're his son, it shouldn't matter that you're gay." He rests his head on my shoulder and squeezes me tight. "I know but he doesn't understand.


End file.
